“Ring……”The bell of the school is ring. It represents that the school holiday is beginning. I have many plans to spend this holiday.
First, I will have some rest time after studying a lot in the school. After a few day,
I should continue my studying. In this holiday, I will study a lot at my weak subjects. For instance, English and KH.I will go to the tuition or buy some exercises to strengthen my knowledge about them. I can read some magazines or newspaper too, so that I can know the news that is popular and happens in our country.
Beside of studying, I should exercise too. This will cause my mind will always be clearly and my physical will strong too. I will play with my best friend at playing ping pong, basketball and so on. In another words, I can enhance our relation too.
I will not forget to take part in some camp in church too. At there, I can learn some new friend and also a lot about Jesus. Beside this, I can do my hobby such as collecting stamp, read book and more.
On the top of that, I will go to my grandfather’s orchard as it is the fruit seasons. I can eat a lot of fruit there, such as durians, mangoes ……I will meet with my cousins there because everybody will always celebrate Merry Christmas in our hometown. At there, we will go to the church, sing some song and more.
Therefore, I should make sure that my plan will not disturb and follow the plan.
1 comment:
1st paragrahph:
The introducing paragaraph is quite interesting. Perhaps you should use a more appropriate word. Indicates will be much preferred than represents in this case.
2nd paragraph:
I will concentrate more on my wek subjects.
I will attend tuition classes to improve my English.
I will do more exercises to strenthen my knowledge in this area.
I will read more magazines and newspaper in order to master my language proficiency.
3rd paragraph:
Exercise will help regulate the bloodflow in my body. This will then encourage my mind to function at its best and be able to absorb clearly.
"In another words" shouldn't be used in this case. Instead, "in addition" should be used. An example of in another word.
Example:
I hate the teacher. He is fat and he looks stern. He has an angry face all the times and he always scolds me for no reason. He seldom teaches us in class and he always sleeps in the class. He is not serious at all and nobody respects him. In other words, he is a useless teacher.
4th paragraph:
Being participated in a camp will help me to get to learn more about Jesus and get to know more friends.
5th paragraph:
On top of that, not on the top of that...
Do not use ... ... in writing a formal essay.
Everybody will celebrate christmas, not Merry Christmas.
"At there" is not a right preposition to use.
Some songs.. not some song.
Concluding sentence is too simple. Write a few more sentences to elaborate on how you want to make sure your plan will not fail (Not disturb)... =)
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